What happens after the state pageant that you put all your time and energy towards is over?
Well, you pick up the pieces, surround yourself with your support system, and take some time off of what we call "pageant life".
For me, the week after the state pageant was difficult. I was missing all of the other girls who went through the same roller coaster of a week as me. I was reliving those last moments when I was standing there in the final two over and over again. I was running through my talent again and again, trying to find areas that could have been better. And above all, I was crushed by the fact that my dream of going to the Miss America stage this year was not going to happen.
Now before I go any farther, let me clarify something. There is not one bone in my body that is not happy/excited/thrilled for our new Miss Iowa. I LOVE Taylor. She is going to be an amazing representative for the state of Iowa at Miss America. Throughout the week, she was one of the people that encouraged me, made me laugh until I had tears coming down my face, and supported me when I thought everything was crashing around me. #teamTaylor
That being said, first runner up is an incredibly honorable but difficult place to finish. After Taylor was crowned, specialty awards had been handed out, and backstage photos were snapped, I was finally allowed to go out to see my family. My first tear fell when I saw my parents. If you don't know my parents, they are extraordinary. They have believed in my Miss America dream since day one. After a stressful, emotional, exciting week, there is nothing better than being able to hug your mom and dad. Seriously though. I didn't hug too long because a girl doesn't want to ruin her makeup before the after party (am i right?)! To my friends and family standing there in that moment where I was completely vulnerable, thank you for being kind and passionate people. There is something to be said about wonderful human beings like you. There was not one moment where I didn't feel incredibly loved.
As I walked out to the reception for Taylor, I realized something. I have THE BEST support system. I could never have finished the way I did without some very amazing people. I can't give a shout out to everyone because we would be here for days, so I will keep it short and sweet! For starters, my directors. Kindra and Ashley--thank you for EVERYTHING; for being able to make me feel and look like Miss America, and for instilling confidence in me that I never knew I had. Michelle and Jess--the countless mock interviews were worth it! Best Overall Interview was a goal of mine, and I couldn't have done it without your advice, critiques, and encouragement. My family and friends who came out to support me-- seeing your faces in the audience gave me this sense of peace, and I hope I made you proud. I'm so lucky to have people like you in my life. Lastly, to the Miss Iowa Scholarship Program. You guys rock. End of story. I loved every second of my Miss Iowa week. Between my wonderful hostess and the countless events throughout the week, I had a blast.
Throughout Miss Iowa week, I tried to remember that everything happens for a reason. The week after Miss Iowa, I was searching and searching for a reason. And that's when it hit me. I don't need a concrete reason. I did everything that I could, there is not ONE thing that I would change about my performances on and off stage. And luckily, I have the best of both worlds. Even though I won't be on the Miss America stage, I will be on my very own stage, teaching high school students about the wonders of chemistry and physics. This experience was unforgettable and I am so humbled and thankful.
Post Miss Iowa, I have moved back to Illinois, and started prepping for my new teaching job. I've used this time to recuperate, pick up the pieces, and of course, have some ice cream. In my "time off", I have also read a couple of articles from fellow pageant titleholders about rejection, disappointment, and pageantry. It has been incredible to read and see women coming together, not only about winning, but also about losing. The MAO is a family, and win or lose there has been a common thread throughout every article and blog. That common thread is that women are learning and finding out who they really are throughout these pageants. Yes, pageants are subjective and yes, they tend to have a bad rap, but until you stand up on a stage and compete, you won't understand why women do it year after year. I too, am someone who has been changed by pageantry and will always appreciate the lessons that I have learned.
That being said, here is my love letter to pageantry.
To every judge, director, and titleholder,
I would not be the person I am without you today. Thank you for pushing me to look my best. Without the midnight workouts and constant sweat, I would have never found the healthy lifestyle that I am living today. I have never felt better and despite what people think, I had fun working it in my swim suit on stage! Every doughnut and milkshake that I turned down was TOTALLY worth it.
Thank you for teaching me that one can never have enough determination. In the past, I've heard that talent is my weakest area of competition. This year, I worked diligently on my talent, practicing every little step until I felt confident. With my will to wow the audience, my determination grew. I can now say that I have never had so much fun dancing than on finals night of Miss Iowa.
Thank you for teaching me the importance of becoming an educated citizen of todays society. Between the mock interviews, promotion of my platform, and of course CNN, I know that when it came down to the interview portion, I gave the judges a run for their money. Interviews used to intimidate me and now it is my favorite phase of competition. This is a great skill to have, and because of it, I landed my dream teaching job!
So many people find pageants to be degrading so this one may surprise you. Thank you for making me feel beautiful. Walking on that stage in a gown that was to die for was the cherry on top of this entire experience. But what really made me feel beautiful were the other titleholders and people that were a part of this unique experience. In movies, you see girls tearing down one another in pageants but in reality, my competitors were my best friends throughout the week. If there were tears, someone was there to make you laugh. If there were nerves, someone was there to assure you that you are GREAT. If there were doubts, someone was there to tell you that you were there for a reason. And if there was a need for sisterhood, it was ALWAYS there. I cannot say enough about the wonderful people that I've met through pageantry.
Last but not least, thank you for teaching me that life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. Rejection and disappointment is common in pageantry. Only one girl can take home the crown. And if it wasn't you, it wasn't meant to be. Rejection is part of life whether it is over a job, a boy that you like, education, or the crown. It is a hard lesson to swallow, but I know that what one judge thinks is not the end all be all. Ask any pageant girl, and they are familiar with it. But it is part of life, and the fact that we pick ourselves back up and keep going is what sets us apart.
I would not be the person I am today without pageants. I know that the pageant world can be crazy but I wouldn't trade my time for anything. That being said, who is ready to jump back into pageant mode?! Sweetheart, here I come.
Love always,
Kristen One
Miss Muscatine
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